Just Because It’s Hard, Doesn’t Mean You Can’t
Sometimes it means you’re right where you should be
“It’s too hard,” my daughter sighed as her small fingers fumbled with the beaded craft in front of her. Bead by tiny bead, her fingers tried to place them ever so slightly onto the raised surface to complete the pattern. Wanting to help, I knew the struggle in itself was good for her growth. Helpful for instilling confidence. We sat side by side, me showing her a few helpful pointers to make the process feel less daunting.
Her frustration grew as her fingers kept knocking over completed beads, making her progress seem stagnant. Encouraging her in the best way I knew how, I asked her to sit back and look at the whole picture. Eventually, she sat back. “Look at the progress you’ve already made on something you’ve never done before!” A smile tugged at her lips. Maybe she just needed a different perspective. A pause.
And then it hit me: just because something is hard doesn’t mean we can’t do it.
Days later, I needed that reminder myself.
It’s too hard, I thought as my husband drove away for work. The lump in my throat told me what my mind already knew: nine hours of solo parenting three little ones under the age of four stretched ahead of me. Maternity and paternity leave came and went almost as quickly as the ending of quiet time does on a hard day. I had known this day was coming, but knowing didn’t make it any easier.
Walking back inside, I whispered the words I had told my daughter: just because something is hard doesn’t mean we can’t do it.
We forget that difficulty doesn’t equal failure.
Starting a new business, raising children, learning a skill, even walking with God—all require practice, perseverance, and yes, failure. The 10,000-hour rule1 applies to anything we want to achieve. We will not find our footing and become experts until we’ve put in the work to struggle, learn, and grow.
Writing about faith and motherhood is near to my heart because so much of both doesn’t come as naturally or as easily as I wish they did. We don’t grow closer to God or become more like Jesus just because we have the title of “Christian.” Faith requires action, a pursuit of God where we humbly submit to a life devoted to learning about the words and ways of who He is, and by nature, who we are as image bearers.
Similarly, motherhood isn’t one straight line moving up and to the right, marking our success that we are crushing it on all levels. It is the slow work of humility and maturity that looks far more like a squiggly rollercoaster track as we fail, apologize, forgive, and repair. After all, we are raising future disciples who will, by God’s grace, love Him and share His mercy with the world. That in itself is an ever-unfolding process in our lives, as it is in our children’s lives.
Still, how often do we think we’re not doing enough? We get caught staring at what feels like failure right in front of us instead of stepping back to see the progress already made.
That beaded craft? My daughter eventually returned to it, piece by piece, until she finished. High-fiving her, I asked, “Doesn’t it feel so much better knowing you didn’t give up? Look how beautiful this turned out!” I think I needed those words almost as much as she did.
I am only a few months into life with three little ones all in my care. My mottos right now are choose grace and one day at a time. Some days feel impossibly hard. Yet I keep coming back to the reminder that just because it’s hard doesn’t mean I can’t.
We are doing it, friends. Whatever difficulty you’re bravely walking through, keep taking one meaningful step forward each day. And should you find yourself feeling stuck, frustrated by the struggle, know you were made for this. God is with you and will give you exactly what you need, day by day.
The middle moments may feel ordinary, but they’re where God loves to meet us. If we were sitting together, I’d pour you a cup of coffee and ask what’s on your heart. Since we can’t, here are a few ways we can stay connected:
📖 Check out my devotional, Seen in the Unseen: Experiencing God’s Presence through the Psalms
💌 Subscribe to The Middle Moments for future essays
💻 Visit me at bekahbuck.com to explore how we might partner on your creative endeavors
My writing will always be free here on Substack, but if you’d like to support my creative work and send a little encouragement my way, you can buy me a coffee. Your support is an absolute gift, and it helps me keep creating words that breathe hope into everyday life. 🤍
Gladwell, Malcolm. Outliers: The Story of Success. New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2008.
Your writing is beautiful, Bekah! Loved this.
Love this saying!!